lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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