Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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