I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
