Christians are straight up FREAKS
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
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My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
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i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
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