I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
