I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
