sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
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