my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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