i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
try to milk me bitch
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
