ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
