There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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