I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
