There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
