no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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