I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.