Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Randomize
