We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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