Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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