She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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