chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
