I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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