Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
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