You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
