It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
