So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i think i scared a bird with my dick
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize