I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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