Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize