wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
