Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
40s are totally the cure
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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