why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
