He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize