I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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