Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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