you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Randomize
