Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
