sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
It's rum buckets o'clock
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
