i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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