last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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