I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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