I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
