Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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