She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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