Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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