Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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