I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
