Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
