Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
