so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
