nut hugger
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
