Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
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