I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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