You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
