When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize
