Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Randomize
