I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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