I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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