No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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