I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
Randomize
