you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
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Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
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Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
You left your phone here
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