Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
