Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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