I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
