i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I enjoy the company of your penis
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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