Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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