You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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