when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
