Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
