So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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